What's Blood Got to Do With It? Page 7
Annalisse cleared her throat. “You all can go in the dining room. Kenneth and I will bring out the food.”
Adanya folded her arms in defiance “I didn’t come here to eat.”
“Adanya, this isn’t going to work out overnight. This is one that God has to step in and clean up after His foolish children,” said Gramps.
Kenneth looked at his father-in-law. “I hope you’re right.”
Adanya stood in the middle of the room like an ice sculpture. “Enough said already. I have to get out of here.”
“Be reasonable, Adanya. You don’t have to leave. There are five bedrooms in this house. You can sleep in any one you choose if you don’t want to sleep in your own room. This house is large enough for you to be here and we’d never know you were here. You know that. Just stay at home where you belong.” Annalisse’s eyes shifted.
Kenneth spoke up. “You can have all the time, space, and whatever else you need to work through this,” Kenneth begged.
“What is it going to take for you to understand?” Adanya turned around and headed up the stairs toward her bedroom.
Annalisse made a move toward her. Kenneth, who looked like he’d aged ten years overnight, held his wife back. “Let her go.”
Adanya packed as much as she thought she’d be able to take in one trip. She strutted to the front door but came to a halting stop when she almost tripped over Snoopy.
“Snoopy, don’t look at me with those big, black, sad, puppy dog eyes.” She knelt down and cuffed his chin. “Mommy’s not leaving you.” She put his doggie sweater and leash on, then got her coat out of the closet and put it on. With pieces of luggage in her hand, and Snoopy trailing next to her, the cold outside meshed with the coldness forming around her heart.
◊
“I think I got most of my winter clothes, at least.”
“I don’t think so. You have a ton of stuff. I don’t know where we can put it all.”
“I hope I won’t have to inconvenience you for too long. I can afford to be on my own. To be honest, I should have moved out from my parents’ house a long time ago.”
“Whatever you say, but you know you’re welcome to stay here.”
The girls gathered the luggage and headed toward the small room Nanette had designated as her office. The futon would be Adanya’s bed for the time being. While they unpacked and rearranged things, they talked.
Nanette placed some items in the office closet. “What did they have to say?”
“Gram was trying to tell me why everything went down like it did. As far as I’m concerned, all they’re doing is trying to justify their deceit.”
“I can’t imagine what I would do if I was in your shoes.”
“It’s caused me to think about a lot of things.” Adanya cleared her throat.
“A lot of things like what?” Nanette closed the closet door and took a seat in her office chair.
“Listening to how everyone has maintained a family secret that hurt me to the core is really no longer the problem. It’s the need they had to feed the deception.”
Nanette embraced her torso with both of her arms. “All I can say is that most people do the best they know to do when trouble arises. I know that what has happened makes you look at your life and your family in a whole other manner. I would be totally bombed if something like this happened to me. But the fact remains that you are here. You have a special needs mother, but you also have Mrs. Anniston who has dedicated her life to loving you, providing the best for you, and flourishing you with love just like a mother. As for Mr. Anniston, I know that man must deal with a lot. To think that he slept with your mother’s twin sister. Oh my, gosh. That’s nasty.” Nanette wrinkled her pointy nose and pulled back her dyed, honey blonde locs from off her face.
“That’s what I’m talking about. Things should have been handled better. I’m so confused. Do I call Annalisse my mother? Do I call Aunt Anaya, mother too?” Adanya broke down in tears again, and fell in the chest of Nanette.
Nanette rubbed back her hair. “Shhh. It’s got to work out. I don’t know how, or when, but it will. Remember, God’s way is perfect, Adanya. The battle is not yours. It belongs to Him.”
“Yeah.” Adanya sighed before she addressed another subject. “Maybe I need to think about some other options. Instead of getting a place here, maybe I need to relocate; find a teaching position at another college.”
“Please, I am not about to let my best friend leave me. You are going to get through this. Just pray and put this situation in God’s hands.”
Adanya whirled around and stopped. “How do you suppose I do that, Nanette? How do I let go and let God, as people say?”
“I wish I knew, I really do. All I can offer you is my shoulder to cry on.”
“That’ll do.”
Chapter 6
“To be a Christian means to forgive the inexcusable, because
God has forgiven the inexcusable in you.” ~C.S. Lewis~
Adanya turned into the liquor store. It was time for her to step out and do whatever it took to ease her pain. She walked into the store and felt like all eyes were on her. She was practically lost, not knowing what to ask for. She thought about some of the commercials she’d seen and looked around the store baffled and confused.
“May I help you?”
Adanya jumped as she turned to face the man who stood next to her with a friendly smile on his face.
“Anything in particular?”
Adanya stuttered. “Uh, not really.”
“Are you looking for wine or something like vodka, brandy, rum?”
“Give me a minute, please.” The man nodded and walked away. Adanya peered at the numerous posters. Her eyes stopped when she saw a poster with Sean ‘Diddy’ Combs holding a bottle of liquor. Adanya approached the man who had gone behind the glassed- in counter. She pointed to the poster. “I’d like a bottle of that.”
“All right, Miss.” He showed her a bottle and told her the price. Adanya nodded. He waited. He must have seen the look of unfamiliarity on Adanya’s face because he instructed her where to place her money.
She put a twenty dollar bill on the slider. He pushed the bottle of vodka through the chute along with her change. Adanya jumped back, slightly startled.
She quickly placed the alcohol in her oversized designer purse and dashed out the store. Once she got inside of her vehicle, she backed up and drove off with lightning speed. If only her parents could see her now. She dismissed the thought and tears flooded from her eyes.
Adanya drove to Nanette’s house. She was glad that Nanette wasn’t there. She petted Snoopy who greeted her by almost jumping right into her welcoming arms. He kissed her all over her face.
She held him in her arms and went to her room where she placed her purse on the bed. “Come on, let me take you for a walk.” She looked inside of her purse and pulled out the vodka and studied it. How much should she drink? Enough to take the pain away, but how much was that? She opened the bottle and didn’t bother going to the kitchen to get a glass. She took a giant swallow right from the bottle and gagged as the disgusting, burning liquid as it went down her throat.
Ughh. How do people drink this stuff? She tucked the bottle inside of her coat pocket, got Snoopy’s leash, and they went down the street toward the nearby pet friendly park.
Snoopy sniffed the grass, eyed a few dogs that passed, and finally found a spot to relieve himself. Adanya began to feel lightheaded. But not enough to keep her from retrieving the alcohol from her coat pocket and taking another swig. This time it wasn’t as big of a gulp as the first one, and it didn’t burn her throat as much either. She felt her head spinning. But her nerves seemed to calm down. She allowed Snoopy to walk around another five minutes or so before she turned around and headed out the park.
She stumbled. Was she wobbling? Is this how drunk people feel? Snoopy walked in front of her on his leash. “Snoopy, you are such a beautiful dog. She giggled.
Inside the apartment, Adanya unleashed Sno
opy and went to the bathroom as a wave of nausea came over her. She leaned over the toilet but nothing came up. For several minutes, she remained in the bathroom but there was no reaction. She giggled and then staggered to her bedroom and plopped down on the bed without so much as removing her coat.
“I’m home.” No answer. “Adanya?” Nanette walked up the hall until she arrived in front of Adanya’s room. The door was partially open. “Knock, knock. May I come in?”
“Help yourself. You’re my best friend.”
Nanette walked into the room. “You sound better.”
Adanya jumped up off of the bed.
“Why are you jumping? And why are you in here with your coat on? You sick again?”
“I feel grayyy-eight,” Adanya’s voice boomed.
“Ew, you stink.” Nanette looked swiftly around the room. “You’ve been drinking? Are you crazy?”
“No, I’m not crazy. I feel good, good, good like a woman should.” Adanya laughed and spread her arms. “Absolutely nothing is wrong with me.” She swiveled around a couple of times and then fell backward, landing squarely on the futon.
Nanette walked over to Adanya. “How much have you had?” She sat on the side of the bed and helped Adanya remove her coat.
“Nanette, my best friend in the entire world.” Adanya sat up and then immediately fell back on the bed again. “Oops, my head is spinning. Am I on a merry go round, Nanette?”
“Where is it, Adanya? Give it to me right now.”
“You want some? Sure,” she slurred. Adanya reached over on the side of the bed where Nanette had laid her coat. She clumsily fumbled inside of her coat pocket until she pulled the bottle of vodka out and pushed it in Nanette’s face. “Here you go, best friend. Take a sip of this. It might taste a little bit, a little bit, uh not so good at first, but it’ll past.” She laughed and kicked her legs up in the air.
Nanette jerked the bottle of alcohol out of Adanya’s hand. “I’m going to make you a pot of black coffee. I’ll be right back.”
Adanya suddenly screamed. “Don’t leave me.”
Nanette didn’t move. “Adanya, you can’t let what happened make you do this to yourself. You weren’t raised to go out and get drunk. You know this isn’t right.”
“I don’t know what’s right any more. I don’t know who’s right. Can you help me, Nannie? Hey, that’s a good nickname for you. Nannie. Nannie. Nannie,” she said in a drunken state.
“Hold up. I’ll be right back. Okay?”
“’K, but you better hurry up or I’m leaving.”
“You are not going anywhere. Now wait here.” Nanette left the room, rushed to the kitchen and made a strong cup of instant coffee.
She returned with the hot brew only to find Adanya snoring loudly, legs hung over the bed, and Snoopy sitting on the floor looking up at his master like he understood her pain.
Nanette sighed. “Lord, help me to help my friend.” She turned and went back to the kitchen, and poured the cup of coffee down the sink, then took a seat at the kitchen table. She looked down when she heard Snoopy whining at her heels. “It’s going to be okay, boy.”
◊
Adanya woke up with a splitting headache and a pasty, dry mouth. When she sat up her head started spinning and her stomach churned. She got up and ambled to the bathroom with. barely enough time to make it to the toilet before she started throwing up.
“Nanette, are you here?” She ventured out into the hall. “Snoopy,” she called, but she didn’t see him either.
She went back to the bathroom and turned on the faucets so she could take a bath. While the bathtub filled, she went into the kitchen and saw food Nanette had cooked. She turned up her nose. It was too much for her to consider eating. She opted for a can of chicken noodle soup she found in the pantry. “I’ll eat this when I get out of the tub.”
Adanya relaxed in the soothing hot tub of water. With her head back against the tub, she thought of how disgusting the alcohol made her feel. But at least it made her forget about her problems, if only for a little while. While she bathed, she heard the familiar sound of Snoopy’s bark as he approached her room.
“Adanya.”
“I’m in the bathroom.” She heard Snoopy’s cute whine. “Snoopy, chill out. Mommy will be out in a minute.”
“Are you all right in there?”
“Yeah, I’m fine.”
“Have you eaten?” Nanette asked from the other side of the bathroom door.
“I took out a can of soup. I saw the food you cooked, but I couldn’t eat it. Sorry.”
“No problem. We’ll talk when you come out.”
“Okay.”
◊
The friends sat in the front room on the couch.
“Adanya, what were you thinking? Drinking is not the way to solve anything. It’s what got your family into trouble in the first place.”
“I know, but you aren’t in my shoes. Your family life isn’t messed up. I don’t know if I can believe anything Annalisse and Kenneth have told me, or my grandparents for that matter.”
“You have to give this problem to God. He’s the only one who can give you the proper guidance and direction.”
“How could He let this happen? Don’t you understand the magnitude of what they did? My mother was sexually molested by the man I call father, and nothing; absolutely nothing was done to punish him. It’s like my family swept everything under the rug. Was it because they knew Anaya couldn’t defend herself so they just pushed it all to the side and came up with this elaborate tale of deceit?”
“We don’t know always how things happen or why they happen, but I believe it’s all for a reason.”
“I know the whole spiel about God’s ways are not our ways, and frankly that’s not good enough for me.”
“Adanya.” Nanette’s voice rose in utter surprise. “How can you say something like that? That’s not like you at all. You’re always the one to tell me when I’ve gotten down and out or worried about a situation that God is in control. Now you want to sit here and act like you don’t have a relationship with God?”
“All I’m saying is that I’m fed up with everything and everybody, including God.” Tears gushed. She got up from the sofa. “Of all people, I thought you would understand. But you’re acting like I shouldn’t feel the way that I feel. Like I’m supposed to smile and go on like nothing has happened. Well, my whole life has changed, Nanette. Don’t you get it?”
“Yes, I get it. But sulking and throwing a fit against God isn’t going to solve anything.”
“I need some fresh air.” Adanya ran to her room and returned with her coat on.
“Where are you going? It’s almost eight o’clock.”
“I’m a grown woman. I don’t answer to you.”
Adanya patted Snoopy on the top of his head when he appeared at the door next to her. “Not this time. Mommy will be back soon.” She left out the door, got in her car, and drove off.
Adanya had no idea where she was going as she drove through the city. Without rhyme or reason, she drove to the university. After driving up and down the streets of the university, she parked close to the building where she taught her communications class. Adanya sat in the car. Her ringing cell phone startled her but she refused to answer. She put it on Silent and then laid her head against the car’s headrest. Another boat load of fresh tears cascaded down her face. “God, what am I supposed to do?”
The silence yielded no answers. She was devastated and torn inside. She left the university and drove to the deli. Once there, she went inside and asked to be seated at a table in the back.
The server asked, “How can I help you?”
“A cup of decaf and a turkey sandwich with the trimmings.”
“Okay, I’ll be back shortly with your order.”
With her head lowered, Adanya fought off the beginnings of an unwelcomed headache. She used her hand to massage her forehead.
“Are you all right?”
Caught off guard
, Adanya’s head jerked slightly. She was surprised to see Bleak.
“What are you doing here?”
“I could ask you the same thing? I wouldn’t imagine a pretty lady like you would be dining alone, and at this time of night.”
“Who says I’m alone?”
“I ordered takeout,” he said with a bag of food in his hand. “While I was waiting on my order, I noticed you sitting here in the corner. I never saw anyone join you. So I assume…”
“You know what they say about assuming, don’t you?”
Bleak chuckled. “I’m afraid so.”
“So what are you doing? Spying on me?”
“You look like you’ve been crying. Are you okay?” he asked without making reference to her question.
“I’m fine.”
“Good, believe me, I am not trying to invade your privacy. I asked out of concern.” He showcased one opened palm. “Anyway, sorry if I disturbed you.” He turned to walk away.
“Hold up.”
Bleak complied.
“I’m sorry. I have no reason to bite your head off. It’s just that I, well anyway I didn’t mean to be rude.”
“No problem,” Bleak answered.
“Uh, would you like to join me?’
Bleak looked surprised. “Are you sure?”
“Yes.”
Bleak sat down across from her.
The server returned with her coffee and food. “Would you like a cup?” the server asked Bleak while he poured a cup for Adanya.
“No, thanks.”
The server nodded and walked away.
“Do you want to tell me why you’re out here alone with a face that looks like the whole world has turned against you?”
“It’s really that noticeable?” Adanya cracked a half smile.
“I’m afraid it is.”
Adanya turned the interrogation on him. “Why don’t you tell me why you happen to be here at this time of night, and why do I keep running into you?”
“To answer your first question, I live nearby and I don’t take to eating my own cooking. Especially since I can barely boil water, so I thought I’d grab something and take it home.” He laughed. ‘And this place has great food.”