Beautiful Ugly Read online

  “Dang, even Kacie has it better than I do, and she has six children tugging at her twenty-four-seven. She may work a little part-time job, but she still seems to live better than me, and I don’t have not one little crumb snatcher. I guess I should be fake like Kacie, before you show me some love. I don’t know what you want.

  “And Layla? Well, Layla is Layla. She loves you, I do know that. But you don’t act like you want to give her a break either. Seems like she doesn’t realize the game you’re playing with her. What is it with you, God?” Envy suddenly ended her conversation with God just as quickly as she’d started it. She opened the car door, got out, and slammed it hard behind her.

  She raised her hands in surrender and bolted off. “I don’t know why I even bother talking to you,” she hollered at the sky before rushing up the walkway leading to her front door just as the first big drops of rain began to fall down upon her head.

  The three women had become friends while attending community college; Envy and Kacie to become surgical technicians, while Layla studied cosmetology. Neither of them, if asked, could explain what drew them together, but whatever it was, they had remained friends for eleven years. Layla, always a big girl was about seventy pounds lighter back then, and just like now, she was heavily involved in church. Kacie was pregnant with her first child when they met, and Envy lived at home with her mother, attended Vo-tech, and worked part-time at FedEx.

  Over the years, their circumstances in life changed but their friendship remained sturdy. While neither Envy nor Kacie completed their surgical tech programs, Envy decided to attend the University of Memphis. She transferred as many courses that she could from the community college, and after three years she received a bachelor’s degree in Business Administration. It had paid off very well. Envy was now a manager in regulatory affairs at a large company. It came with a nice salary and annual bonuses attached.

  Layla completed her cosmetology course, but for some reason never managed to pass the board exams required to become a licensed cosmetologist. So whenever she got in a serious tight, she’d fix hair in her apartment.

  One by one, each of them faced the game life plays on each person who lives it. The alternative to living was dying, and neither of them wanted to choose that pathway. There was too much zest in living for them, too many things to see, places to go, and an endless list of mistakes yet to be made. So through it all, the three of them clung to each other without judging each other’s actions and decisions.

  Chapter Two

  Without a rich heart, wealth is an ugly beggar. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

  The storm raged. Giant pellets of raindrops crashed against the windows of Kacie’s house. Lightning catapulted across the sky, and sounds of thunder roared like the devil walking around seeking whom he might devour.

  “Kassandra, I’m scared.”

  “Kali, shut up before you wake up Kendra and Keshena, then Momma’s gonna come in here and tear all our tails up. Anyway, God don’t like us talking when He’s working. Don’t you remember what Mrs.Caples told us in Sunday School last Sunday? She said to be still when it storms because God is doing His work.” She looked at the ceiling from the top bunk bed.

  Kali muttered in a state of utter fear. “But I can’t help it. It’s thundering and lightning, and the wind sounds like a big bad wolf.”

  “What if I get in the bed with you? Then will you go to sleep?”

  “Uh-huh,” Kali said.

  Kassandra climbed down the bunk bed ladder and huddled next to her frightened sister. “When we wake up, the storm will be over.”

  “But I’m hungry.”

  “Make up your mind, Kali. Are you hungry or are you scared?” Kassandra was losing her patience with her little sister.

  “I’m hungry…and I’m scared.”

  Kassandra threw off her covers, looked over at the toddler bed where Kendra lay, then looked at Keshena in her crib. Satisfied that they were both sound asleep, she got out of Kali’s bed and went into the dark kitchen. Kali followed closely behind, holding on tightly to the edge of her big sister’s night shirt. Shadows of trees outside lined the walls of the house, and bolts of lightning striking their target made both of them jump.

  Kassandra quickly turned around and raised a finger to her lips. “Shhh,” she warned. “You don’t want Momma to hear us, do you?”

  Kali shook her head from side to side. Trembling, she stayed on the heels of her sister. Kassandra heard her mother’s voice. She was in her bedroom, on the phone, like nothing was going on outside. Entering the kitchen, Kassandra didn’t bother turning on the light. She quietly opened the cabinet and felt around for a package of saltines and a jar of peanut butter, and then moved toward the refrigerator. Opening it, she grabbed an already made bottle of milk for Keshena just in case the storm woke her up during the night, then Kassandra wouldn’t have to get back up to go get her a bottle. Finding everything, Kassandra returned to the bedroom she shared with her three sisters. The two girls sat on the floor and used the saltines to dig hunks of peanut butter out of the jar until their bellies were satisfied. Kassandra made sure to clean up everything. She hid the jar of peanut butter and crackers underneath the bottom bunk bed. She’d make sure first thing tomorrow morning to put it back in its rightful place before their mother found out they had been eating in their rooms. After that, sleep came quickly for the two sisters while the storm raged fiercely outside.

  It was obvious that Kacie didn’t hear Kassandra and Kali shuffling around in the kitchen because she continued talking on the phone. “Of course, I enjoyed church today,” Kacie told the man over the phone. “The best part was seeing you there,” she flirted, twisting the phone between her fingers.

  Rain pelted heavily against her rooftop and windowpane, but Kacie wasn’t bothered in the least bit. There was a storm brewing within her as she used her womanly wiles to capture the man named Deacon she’d met at church a couple of Sundays ago.

  “I don’t know how you do it.”

  “What are you talking about? Do what?” Kacie lay back on her full-size bed and awkwardly crossed her legs.

  “Six children and you’re still as fine as Halle Berry. You’re an amazing woman.”

  “Oh, yeah? I thought I was much finer, but thanks for the compliment.”

  Kacie smiled when she heard Deacon chuckling on the other end of the phone. “When are you going to let me become a part of your life? All of this talking at church and on the phone is good, but I want to spend some real time with you.”

  “We’ll see. But I will promise you this.”

  “What?” Excitement could be heard in Deacon’s voice.

  “It’ll be well worth the wait. That you can bank on, Mr. Deacon Riggs.”

  While Kacie turned on the charm with Deacon, Layla sat in her oversized chair in her apartment like she was oblivious to the storm raging outside her window too. Her focus was strictly on watching the classic movie Sparkle on TV One while munching away on her last piece of fried chicken. “If I could just lose some weight, maybe I could be on television singing. That would be a miracle,” she berated herself followed by sucking the last piece of meat off the chicken bone.

  Layla sat the plate of bones on the end table, then quickly grabbed of peach cobbler she had sitting on the table too. Her telephone rang, and she struggled to lean over to get it, huffing and puffing with each movement.

  “Hello.”

  “What’s going on, baby?”

  “Nothing; just watching TV.”

  “But it’s storming outside. That makes things romantic, don’t you think?” the light voice asked on the other end.

  “Romantic? I don’t know if I agree with that, Mike.”

  “Let me come over there and show you what I mean.”

  The tone of Layla’s voice changed to one of agitation. “You must be crazy. How many times have I told you that I am not somebody to just lay up with?” She played with her black neck length dreads. I’ve tried that and it’s gotten
me nowhere, Mike, especially with you.”

  Layla had been messing around with Mike on and off for the past two years. He lived with his mother in one of the units behind her apartment. She used to pray that she and Mike could have a serious relationship but things hadn’t turned out exactly like she’d hoped. Mike was the kind of man who wanted to lay up with whoever was convenient for him at the time. She sometimes felt like a tramp after sleeping with him, especially when he asked for money minutes after they finished messing around. Most of the time she gave it to him, somehow feeling as though it was the least she could do for someone who found her attractive enough to sleep with. But enough was enough. The girlfriend Mike had now was practically living with him and his momma.

  One night, Mike’s girlfriend caught him at Layla’s house one night after following him. When she laid eyes on Layla, she laughed so hard that she started to cry and called Layla every name but a child of God. That was the last straw for Layla. She told herself that never again would she allow anyone to humiliate and use her again.

  “Mike, why don’t you lay up with your girlfriend? You think I’m going to set myself up again for her to come knocking at my door and cussing me out? I don’t think so,” rebutted Layla.

  “Be like that then. Look, let me hold a few dollars. I need to get me a pack of cigs.”

  “I do not have a few dollars. Not today and no other day,” she retorted. “Now I said, leave me alone and I tell you what. Don’t call here anymore.”

  “Forget your fat butt then. Shoot, you ought to be glad I even want to be with you in the first place. It ain’t like guys are beating down your door to get in. Maybe to get out,” he laughed after each of his insults. “Anyway, who needs your fat, stanky tail,” he said, then hung up the phone in her face.

  Layla held the phone in utter shock and disbelief for a few seconds before exclaiming into the receiver, “Forget you, Mike and all you other good for nothing men out there. I don’t need you,” she hollered. “I got who I need, and that’s God.”

  Layla didn’t know who she was trying to fool. Mike’s words stung her like a swarm of killer bees. “Whoever said sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me, was nothing but a liar.” Layla pulled herself up from the chair and carried her tears to the bathroom. Maybe a long, hot shower would help to wash away her tears and her fears of being lonely and all alone for the rest of her life.

  Chapter Three

  What has a man's face to do with his character? Can a man of good character

  help having a disagreeable face? Ann Radcliffe

  Midday Monday morning, Kacie turned over in the bed and searched groggily for the remote. She felt her baby lying next to her and knew she was asleep, which meant that the other kids had left for school and daycare. They knew the rules – put Keshena in their mother’s bed before they left for school. Kacie was glad she didn’t have to get up early every morning and get her children ready. She taught them early on how to dress themselves and use the microwave as soon as they were old enough to push the button. No time for whining, spoiled children. She had too many for that. Kacie rubbed her fingers through her honey blond micro braids, then climbed out of the bed clad in her panties and bra.

  Glancing at the cupid faced baby, Kacie eased up from the bed hoping she wouldn’t wake her. She didn’t want to start her day off with a whining child. Her extra measure of caution worked. Keshena didn’t move a hair.

  With her signature sunken knees limp, Kacie hurried to the bathroom to wash up and relieve her bladder. Afterward, she ran into the kitchen, grabbed a juice bottle for Keshena and a couple of Pop-Tarts for herself. The phone rang just as Kacie stepped into the bright, airy mint julep kitchen. Cereal bowls with splotches of spilled milk and cereal scattered the breakfast table. Dishes from last night’s dinner were still in the sink.

  “Hello, what’s up?” asked Kacie.

  “I was hoping you’d tell me. You’re the one who has the winning hand.” Deacon’s smooth words dripped from his mouth like honey from a honeycomb.

  If he could have seen through the phone, Deacon would have seen the blush that covered Kacie’s face. “Is that right? Well, since you put it that way, I’m going to see what kind of hand I really do have. Why don’t you come and keep me company around noon,” Kacie said.

  “That sounds tempting, and I wish I could. But baby, you know I’m at work. But what if I come by your place later on when your kids are having visions of sugarplums dancing around in their heads?” Deacon chuckled lightly.

  “I don’t know if I can wait that long. I was hoping I could see you before tonight. I tell you what. Why don’t you come over here for dinner, say around six thirty. We can eat with the kids, and then I’ll make them take their baths and go to bed. We’ll have the rest of the evening to spend devouring our dessert,” Kacie teased over the phone.

  “Why are you working on my emotions like this, girl? You know you got me going around in circles. I’m already spending more time on the phone with you than ever. And I don’t want to get attached to your kids, and then you up and dump me, you know.”

  “What are you talking about, Deacon? I would never think about doing any such thing. You’re too nice of a man; one that me and my kids could get used to,” Kacie responded, hoping she wouldn’t run him off by including her kids in the equation.

  Deacon already seemed like the man of her dreams. He was kind, church-going, and polite. He was the kind of man she hoped she had in each of her babies’ daddies, but each time she was proven wrong.

  “What I’m talking about is getting attached to you. I really do like you, Kacie. I don’t care that you have six kids, and I don’t care about your handicap either. You’re someone who can be special in my life. I’m tired of all these women with their tricks. They’re always out to get over on a man. I want a fine, Christian girl like you in my life. That’s what I need.” Deacon poured it on like sorghum syrup; slow and easy. Every word found residence on Kacie’s heart.

  Keshena’s shrill from the bedroom quickened their conversation. “Look, I can’t stand here and listen to any more of this. Just be here tonight, say around eight o’clock since you sound like you don’t want to eat dinner with us. We’ll talk about things then.”

  “Don’t be like that. I don’t mind having dinner with you, but I might not get away from the office that early. If I can get away at a reasonable time, then I’ll be over. If not, then don’t worry your pretty little head about it because I’ll make it up to you.”

  “Still try to come. I really do want to see you, Deacon.”

  “Me too. But for now, I have to go. I’ll call you later. Have a good day, sweetheart.”

  “Yeah, you too. Bye now.” Kacie hung up the phone and swore under her breath as she heard Keshena’s cries become more demanding. She opened a packet of peaches and cream oatmeal and hurriedly prepared it. She didn’t want to miss any of The Young & The Restless. She got everything together just in time to hear the familiar soap opera music starting to play. Sitting in the bed and leaning against her pillow, she spoon fed Keshena the oatmeal and nibbled on her Pop-Tarts; eyes glued to the television screen. She watched the soap opera couple share a passionate kiss while she thought about Deacon and the growing possibility that she’d found the one.

  ×

  Early afternoon and another few dollars, Envy traveled the usual route she did almost every day after work. One of the added luxuries of living in midtown was the close proximity to downtown and her job. Her exempt managerial status often afforded her the perk of flexible work hours. After a weekend of being cooped up in the house, she was ready to make something exciting happening. So what if it was Monday; no Monday blues for her. She made every turn with ease in her older but trustworthy Saturn. She could afford a spanking brand new car off the show room floor if she so chose. But she opted for a nice sizeable savings account and investment fund rather than frivolous spending.

  The parking lot at Precious Cargo
was near its capacity and it was barely five o’clock. Envy’s sleek leg exited the car like she was a movie star stepping out of a stretch limo. Clad in a pair of classic black pumps that matched her one piece black dress with butter cream buttons, Envy got out of the car and closed the door behind her. Her mouth seemed to become drier with each step that brought her closer to the entrance. Once inside, she went in the direction of her favorite hangout area – the bar. When Tyreek, the bartender, spotted her in her usual seat, he automatically prepared her favorite; vodka with a spot of cranberry juice and one cube of ice.

  “Hi there, gorgeous.” Tyreek flirted and placed the drink in front of her. “Long day already?” He brandished a raised eyebrows and a daring smile.

  “More like a boring weekend and a long day.” She took a sip of her drink. “Aahh, this is good.” Envy immediately took another sip; this time a deeper one.

  “I know what you like,” he whispered.

  “Which means you know that I can’t stop at just one of these babies.” She swallowed the rest of the vodka, and Tyreek presented her with a stronger one.

  “What plans do you have for later?” he asked, and at the same time raised his index finger to tell the next customer to hold on just a moment.

  “I sure don’t plan to spend another night at home bored out of my wits. What’s on your mind?” Envy asked as if she didn’t already know.

  “You. I’ll be outta here at—”

  “I know your schedule, Tyreek, so cut the formalities. Fix me another drink and be at my place by ten,” she said in an almost commanding tone. Envy walked around the club and talked with some of the regulars. An hour or so later, she left Precious Cargo just as quickly as she’d entered.

  Sitting in her car outside of the club, Envy waited for some of the effects of the vodka to wear off before she started driving. With her head laid against the headrest, she closed her eyes and thought about being with Tyreek tonight.